When I get that Feeling…

“When I get that feeling… I need sexual healing”. Everyone remembers Marvin’s famous words, but mention the word sex, and what comes to mind: bad dates, romantic fantasies, kinky scenarios, sometimes even blatant repulsion. Sometimes, it spawns an uncomfortable laugh, or even an occasional curious eyebrow. Of all the responses and attachments mentioned, the least common thought is given to healing.

Yes, everyone knows that sex can “cure” a headache but this loaded word is also a useful aid to deep and lasting healing. Now, before you go rushing to look through your XXXBlackBook or OkCupid profiles, hear me out. 

Just as an addict becomes satisfied after feeding their “fix,” we humans have a tendency to become sated when we encounter familiarity. Whether in the form of feeling good, self-sabotaging, or even a cycle of abuse, we all become “comfortable” with a certain circle of feelings. “It’s my routine” we rationalize ourselves into thinking. These habits/feelings settle into the deepest part of our psyche. 

Oftentimes, when sex is added to the equation, from uninformed/untrained “users” It can be tantamount to that of a child swinging a Ginsu: A dangerous “weapon” because they have not been taught the proper technique for its use.

Sex allows us to see our partners on a deeper-than-surface level, which is something for which most are not prepared. When this depth is prematurely tapped, with one who is wounded, the opposite partner often decides, afterward, this is more than they were ready to deal with, and break the connection abruptly. Sometimes, conversely, it is we who do the pushing because the memories buried at this level are too painful. To avoid the pain we push away our partners, feeling that they are the source of this. This resulting break then leaves one, or both, parties disoriented, angry, or even more deeply scarred than before the act. Often one feels this way, subconsciously, because the partner we connected with was unwilling to help us heal on that deep, soul/cellular level. Like any healing tool/modality, sexual healing should only be attempted after one has been properly trained/prepared. In the hands of a trained Tantric instructor, or other Sex-Positive Coach, sex becomes a powerful tool for transformative healing. This is not to say that others cannot experience the healing benefits of sex, amongst themselves. These experiences are very possible to those who have been opened to the depth of their own inner workings. Those who explore spirituality, on a deep level, are likely to be very familiar with the healing power of a connection with the Divine. That said, sex is very much the same. It is simply another way to connect with one’s Divinity and tap into our most “Wholistic” selves.

Being a Tantric Shaman, I’ve often been asked, “What is Tantra?” “Isn’t that the same as sex?” “That sounds pretty out there… What do you do?” Simply put as stated on oneTantric website: 

“Tantra is the original ‘holistic’ way of life, yoking body, mind and spirit into living life as a whole. Polarities of good and evil, pure and impure, matter and spirit are done away with as unnecessary barriers to a direct experience of cosmic consciousness. With great finesse, tantra uses material reality for spiritual unfoldment. According to Tantra, everything in the universe is perfect as it is; the limitations that exist are within the mind. It is said in the Tripurarahasya: “Though in reality there is no bondage, the individual is in bondage as long as there exists the feeling of limitation in him…” With the above stated, some have used this healing power to help with physical ailments, such as infertility, fibroids, high blood pressure, migraines, prostate blockages, muscle pain/spasms, low libido, depression, low appetite, and a host of other things. Some of these things may seem contradictory to sex, such as fibroids, high blood pressure, and low libido, but Tantra is NOT about a solely physical experience, hence why it has the potential to heal a physical problem. It is a modality that transcends the physical body and heals on an astral level, which then reflects in our most dense physical self.

In my next installment I will get in to the physical practice of Tantra.

Until then Namaste

Cora Clement, D.M. (WitchDoktor CCLayla) is a UU ordained Mystical Healer, Tantric Shaman, and Human Rights Campaign activist. You can find Cora on Facebook. Cora  lives in Virginia Beach, VA with her husband, brother and 4 children.