What don’t Break Us Makes Us

Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own ~UNKNOWN

Building the path to a successful relationship can be a hard and arduous task. Laying the foundation requires careful skill and determination, especially if your desire is longevity.  These days we’re offered an instant relationship as aalternative, using images of promiscuity and glamorizing partying as the catalyst.

Today’s society doesn’t employ the same method of commitment as those before us once did.  The stories of adversity that our grandparents told speaking of infidelity and hardships are clear examples of perseverance. They weren’t scared to do the work to salvage their connection.  I believe that societies perspective of a “microwave” relationship is the contributing factor in why so many men and women are currently single and families lack togetherness.

Is Independence our greatest enemy?

The woman of the 20th century possesses the will and tenacity to be successful at anything she puts her mind to. I’ll admit hearing I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-C-E blaring from my car speakers sparked something in me that made me proud of my accomplishments, but is our need to be separate aiding in our singleness?

The fact is relationships are collective—there is no “I” in team.  Furthermore, constantly reminding your man of how much you don’t need him will only discourage him.

Men are primal creatures that measure their manhood according to how much they can protect and provide.  Like a good friend once told me, “When you need something off the top self, stop climbing on the counter… ask your man to get it for you”.  Though humorous, the before example is true.  A man has to feel needed. I’m not implying you should always play the role of the damsel in distress, however, staying true to his need to be nurtured will add years to your partnership.

Staying Balanced in your relationships

Being whole means successfully managing your emotional, mental and physical self.  A big part of staying balanced in your relationship requires you do some self-assessment. As women we are nurturers, teachers and visionaries.  What role are you playing? Are you playing the position of the man or womb-man? Is it possible that you could have contributed to some of the issues in your present or past relationships?  Ask yourself; “Am I allowing my past to negatively impact my partnership?” Communication is the key; therefore keep the lines of communication open. Don’t make the mistake of assuming what he feels or thinks. Pay attention to what he is trying to tell you. Those words may determine what’s making or breaking your union.