Thursday, September 29, 2016

33... A fresh start

Well, hello. It's me. I was wondering if after all these years months you'd like to meet. 

(Couldn't help myself, the song was too perfect.)

And this week, the week of my 33rd birthday (which is actually today), I wiped the slate clean. It's my fresh start.

I've said this several times before... here, and here, even here. I hate that I'm back in this place. I thought I'd said goodbye to this place a long time ago.

But here I am.

My fresh start, it has to be today, this week, because if not now, then when? Next week? Next month? Another 10 pounds from now?

I officially reset my starting weight at WW last Saturday. Six months ago I was 60 pounds down, then all hell broke loose and here I am, 40 pounds heavier (that was harder to type than I thought it would be.) At least I haven't regained it all? It was too deflating to see my "Total" so far removed from where I was in March, so I wiped it. (Plus, now I'll start getting rewards at meetings again, which are oddly motivating.)

I'm so uncomfortable in my own skin, acutely aware of my heaviness and the space I take up--again.

So here I am, a little beat up and worse for wear, but I have not given up. I am not giving up on myself. I've come too far on this journey to just throw in the towel. I may have taken a few steps backwards, but I'm still in this.

In the coming days, I'll share more of what I've been up to these last 3 months--no promises, of course, because it's evident I can't keep them.

Just know that I'm doing the best I can right now. 

P.S. I literally haven't opened Blogger since the last time I posted, so I have a lot of commenting and catching up to do. Don't be surprised if I respond to something that is months old :)